The Fantasy World of AI Through the Lens of Attachment Theory

The fantasy world of AI companions through the lens of attachment theory.

To begin, few quick definitions...

𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗿𝘆: 
A psychological framework addressing long-term bonds people form with others, emphasizing the importance of early relationships with caregivers for emotional development and future relationships.

𝗦𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝘀𝗲: 
A place of safety, represented by an attachment figure (caregiver for children, sometimes this is sought after in a partner as an adult) that provides both comfort AND encouragement to explore the world.

𝗢𝗸, 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗴𝗼...

Caregivers act as a secure base for children by offering provision for needs such as food, shelter, love, attention, and attunement (or lack thereof). This creates a bond that can shape the way people interact in relationships as adults. 

In some cases, if there was lack of a dependable secure base, people may search for that as an adult... and then along come AI companions. These act as a secure base, but without any of the reality of attachment to a human. 

Humans will mis-attune, they will be too busy to listen at times, they will have their own needs, and all of that is not only ok but necessary. This is where we learn frustration tolerance, repair, and reciprocity.

But AI companions simulate the comfort of a secure base without any of the growth-promoting friction.

What makes AI companions feel safe (no friction, no demands, no mis-attunement) is exactly what makes them unable to serve as a genuine secure base. Real security comes from relationships that can weather rupture and repair, not from the fantasy of perpetual harmony.