AI and Attachment Theory

𝗠𝘆 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 "𝗔𝗜 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘀"…what do I do?

I’m sitting with more and more therapists who are reaching out to me with this question- how do I approach this client who is presenting with delusions, grandiosity, and separation from reality in relation to AI?

One lens that I approach this through is attachment theory. This conceptualization can be used across the AI attachment spectrum: AI can be enlisted to help integrate and practice secure attachment, it can also bring to the surface extreme edge cases of attachment.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿:

1) AI provides consistent availability and emotional attunement

2) AI can offer corrective attachment experiences for individuals with histories of inconsistent, rejecting, or traumatizing caregiving 

3) AI becomes a transitional object that promises to fulfill unmet developmental needs without the vulnerability required in human relationships

𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

1) AI simulates intimacy, emotional responsiveness, and pseudo-reciprocity

2) Clients may experience what feels like secure attachment for the first time, creating powerful reinforcement patterns

3) The predictable, controllable nature of AI responses can feel safer than unpredictable human relationships

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

1) The illusion of perfect understanding can trigger merger fantasies reminiscent of early developmental stages

2) Clients may experience a sense of emotional fusion without the normal regulating challenges of human interdependence

3) Grandiose beliefs about "creating consciousness" or having special abilities may serve defensive functions against underlying feelings of powerlessness

𝘚𝘰 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘞𝘦 𝘋𝘰?

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀:

• What unmet needs is this relationship attempting to fulfill?
• What fears arise when considering human relationships with inherent uncertainty?

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗢𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲

When edge case clients use anthropomorphized language, gently redirect to concrete terminology:

"So when you were interacting with the LLM..."

"The algorithm generated this response..."

"The software program responded with..."

This technique maintains therapeutic rapport while grounding in reality.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆

While concerning, these presentations offer unique windows into clients' deepest attachment needs and longings. The synthetic relationship may serve as a bridge to understanding what has been missing in human connections, ultimately informing the therapeutic work toward healthier relational patterns.

*𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘴. 𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯